“Manual of Me,” helps you and others understand your quirks, strengths, and struggles. It’s a cheat sheet to your heart, fostering deeper connections, better communication, and personal growth—so everyone wins!
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A Perfectionist: I strive for excellence, and I'm often seen as principled and meticulous in my approach to life That's me
A Helper: I'm a compassionate soul, always ready to assist others, even if it means putting my needs second That's me
An Achiever: Success is my driving force, and I'm goal-oriented, always aiming to be the best in my endeavors That's me
An Individualist: I embrace my uniqueness and creativity, constantly exploring my complex emotions and identity That's me
An Investigator: I'm naturally curious and analytical, driven by a thirst for knowledge and understanding That's me
A Loyalist: Trustworthiness is my virtue, and I seek security by preparing for any potential challenges or crises That's me
An Enthusiast: Adventure and fun are my constant companions, as I seek new experiences and avoid pain whenever possible That's me
A Challenger: I'm strong-willed and assertive, always seeking control and authority in my pursuits That's me
A Peacemaker: I'm easygoing and conflict-avoidant, striving for harmony and peace in all my relationships That's me
Conscientious | Orderly | Appropriate | Ethical
You are good
Having integrity, being good, balanced, accurate, virtuous, and right
Perfectionist
Being wrong, bad, evil, inappropriate, unredeemable, or corruptible
Terrified of making a mistake, causing continual frustration and dissatisfaction
Committed, high integrity, balanced and responsible, patient with the process, forgives easily
Dissatisfied, idealistic, feels responsible to improve everything, explains to others the “right” way
Self-righteous, stubborn, intolerant, talks in absolutes, judgmental, black + white, rationalizes own behavior
Ethical • Reliable • Productive • Wise • Idealistic Conscientious • Orderly • Self-Disciplined
Judgmental • Inflexible • Dogmatic • Critical of Others • Uptight • Controlling • Anxious Jealous
Realize that doing their best is all that is required. Is OK to make mistakes.
Be incredibly gentle when delivering criticism
• Make sure you take your share of the responsibilities, so I don’t have to end up with all the work.
• I’m very hard on myself so reassure me often and tell me that I am doing good.
• Tell me when you value my advice.
• Be as fair and considerate as I am.
• First listen to my worries or concerns, then help me lighten up by having fun.
Stressful situations can cause negative feelings but they are also a time to improve oneself. Focus on the positive and encourage others.
• You shine where rewards are doled out fairly.
• Be OK with good enough.
• Watch out for procrastination until perfection
Michelle Obama, Mahatma Gandhi, Steve Jobs, and Eleanor Roosevelt
Thoughtful | Generous | Demonstrative
You are wanted and loved
Being appreciated, loved, and wanted
People-Pleasing | Possessive
Being rejected and unwanted, being thought worthless, needy, or unworthy of love
Denying your own needs and emotions to focus on the emotions and needs of others first
Puts on own oxygen mask first, generous but with
boundaries, adapts well to changing circumstances
Unable to express needs, unable to say no or create boundaries, people-pleasing
Codependent in relationships, insecure, manipulative, “strings attached” generosity, self-neglecting
Loving • Compassionate • Nurturing • Generous Supportive • Hospitable • Tuned In To How People Feel
Intrusive • Martyr-like • Indirect • Manipulative Possessive • Flatterer • Needy
Overly Accommodating
Taking care of themselves before caring for others
The best way to love a Two is to help them love themselves
• Tell me specifically what you appreciate about me.
• Take a real interest in my problems, even though I will try to focus the attention back onto you.
• Please let me know that I am special and important to you.
• If you need to point out something negative, please be gentle and tell me a few affirming things as well. I can be very sensitive to criticism.
Make sure that you have enough time to do the things you need to do for yourself. Set aside time each day to focus on your own personal tasks.
• You shine where interpersonal sharing is valued
• Remember to set boundaries
• Watch out for gossip
Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, and Jimmy Carter
Efficient | Accomplished | Motivating | Driven
You are loved for simply being you
To have high status, admiration, success, valued and respected by others
Image-Conscious
Being a failure, inefficient, unproductive, worthless or unable to appear successful
Concerned with how they are perceived. Feels pressure to meet others’ expectations of them
Allows themselves to be truly known, self-worth is not tied to goals, finds balance between work, rest, + play
Overachieving, becomes a workaholic, tries to earn love from others, worries about disappointing others
Unable to admit mistakes, desperate for attention, exaggerates stories, petty & vengeful
Self-Affirming • Industrious • Efficient • Self-Propelled • Energetic • Goal-Orienting Team Builder
Self-Promoting • Pretentious • Vain • Superficial Exploitative • Overly Competitive • Workaholic
Peace and rest will come when you disconnect outward success with your value as a human being
Vocalize your love for them and discourage constructed personas
• Tell me that you like being around me.
• Tell me how proud you are of me and my accomplishments.
• Please don’t interrupt me while I am working.
• Give me honest but not unduly critical or judgmental feedback.
• Help me to keep my surroundings harmonious and peaceful.
When under stress, they can become disinterested. Focus on what you can do to help the team and not only your own advancement.
• You shine where success is recognized
• Remember to celebrate your wins
• Watch out for workaholism
Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, and Lance Armstrong
Authentic | Creative | Expressive | Deep
You are seen and loved for exactly who you are special and unique.
Being unique, special, and authentic
Dramatic | Self-Absorbed | Temperamental
Being inadequate, emotionally cut off, plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant
Feel like others possess qualities you lack. Hates being misunderstood.
Able to manage emotional range, deeply creative and emotionally honest, connected to others
Struggles with accepting self, exaggerates uniqueness, coy, “hard to get”, moody, melodramatic
Manipulative, plays the victim, feels lack, drowns in shame, unable to connect or change for better
Authentic • Compassionate • Introspective • Expressive • Creative • Supportive • Refined
Withdrawn • Exaggerated Moods • Depressed Self-Pitying • Moralistic • Self-Absorbed • Possessive
You are not too much, and it’s okay to feel misunderstood
In discussions, be intentional to listen. You don’t need to match their mood, just be authentic
• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a great deal to me.
• Be supportive of me by helping me to love myself and see my significant value.
• Respect my unique abilities in having good intuition and vision.
• Please realize that I may not want to be cheered up when I am melancholy.
• Don’t tell me that I’m too sensitive or overreacting!
When you feel stressed, take a look at your workload and make sure you haven’t signed up for too much.
• You shine where you can express individuality.
• Remember to create rituals to stay on track.
• Watch out for drama, drama, drama
Alanis Morrisette, Frida Kahlo, Bob Dylan, and Janis Joplin
Perceptive | Insightful | Intelligent
Your needs are not a problem
Being capable and competent
Secretive | Isolated
Being annihilated, invaded, or not existing; being thought incapable or ignorant
Withholding yourself and your resources from the rest of world
Long-term perspective, engaging, willing to share, abundance mentality, connected to body
Scarcity mentality, rather observe than participate, substitutes thoughts for feelings, feels incompetent
Doesn’t want to depend on others, stays separate, defensive, too independent, private, scarcity mindset
Analytical • Persevering • Sensitive • Wise Objective • Perceptive • Curious
Intellectually Arrogant • Stingy • Stubborn Distant • Critical of Others • Unassertive Cynical
You are brave for showing up despite your fears and preferred state of isolation
They need space to process and desire conflict to be minimal and straightforward
• Be independent and not clingy.
• Speak in a brief and straightforward manner.
• I need a lot of alone time to process my feelings and thoughts.
• I don’t like surprises, intrusions on my privacy, too many emotions, needy people, and obligations.
If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed, focus on simple steps you can take instead of trying to solve every problem or find every unknown.
• You shine where there are minimal interruptions
• Remember to set a time limit for research
• Watch out and don’t isolate from the team
Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, and Diane Sawyer
Committed | Responsible | Faithful
You are safe
Having security, guidance, and support
Anxious | Suspicious
Being without support, security, or guidance; being blamed, alone, or physically abandoned
Scanning life and trying to predict and prevent negative outcomes creating a state of worry
Trusts own experiences, faith that things will work out, considers best for everyone, honest, reliable
Questioning, worst case scenario, focused on authority, committed to a group, sees world as unsafe
Sees danger everywhere, overly anxious and paranoid, untrusting, patterns of projection, indecisive
Loyal • Likable • Prepared • Trustworthy Compassionate • Witty • Practical • Responsible
Hyper-vigilant • Dependent • Unpredictable Judgmental • Paranoid • Defensive Self-Defeating • Self-Doubting
The world is made up of mostly good and honest people, and they desire to connect with you.
Remind them of your commitment and encourage them to trust their own experiences
• Be direct and clear with me nut also listen to me carefully.
• Please don’t judge me for my anxiety.
• Reassure me that everything is going to be OK. Laugh and make jokes with me.
• Tell me and show me that you support me.
• Acknowledge that I am loyal, responsible, and supportive.
The key is to focus on the support that you have from your team, not on competition. Use that support to your advantage.
• You shine where there are clear responsibilities
• Remember to set a time limit for your “what if” Qs
• Watch out for indecisiveness
George H.W. Bush, Tom Hanks, and Ellen DeGeneres
Playful | Excitable | Versatile
You will be taken care of
Being happy, fully satisfied, and content
Acquisitive | Scattered
Being deprived, trapped in emotional pain, limited, or bored; missing out on something fun
Feeling emptiness inside and to "fill yourself up" with experiences and stimulation to feel complete
“Less is more”, understands that joy is received, spiritually grounded, embraces full range of emotions
Reframes circumstances, finds happiness in anticipation, entertains group, uncommitting
Sees themselves and environment as inadequate, feels things are unfair, avoids pain at all cost, reckless, risky
Fun-Loving • Spontaneous • Imaginative Productive • Enthusiastic • Quick • Confident Charming
Self-Focused • Impulsive • Escapist • Rebellious Distracted • Superficial • Manic • Self-Destructive
Pay attention to who you’re with and what you’re doing.
Sevens don’t do well with co-dependence and can feel trapped by the needs and expectations of others.
• Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.
• Accept me the way I am, be enthusiastic with me. • Listen to my stories and grand visions.
• Laugh and make jokes with me.
• I don’t like to be told what to do or to be restricted.
Don’t focus on the things you don’t have or haven’t achieved. Instead, pay attention to the positives of your project.
• You shine in flexible and fun environments
• Remember to finish what you start
• Watch out for impulsive and undisciplined schedules
Jim Carey, Iggy Pop, and Amadeus Mozart
Assertive | Self-confident | Intense | Big-hearted
You will not be betrayed
Protecting yourself and those in your inner circle
Willful | Confrontational
Being weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, and left at the mercy of injustice
Desiring intensity, control, and power; pushing yourself on life and people to get what you desire
Great friend, excellent leader, champion of the underdog, uses power for good, able to collaborate
Steamroller instead of diplomat, struggles to follow, little patience, uses aggression to protect emotions
Preoccupied with betrayal, suspicious, revengeful, creates own reality, destructive, burns bridges
Compassionate • Inspiring • Resilient • Loyal Energetic • Empowering • Protective • Self-Confident
Loud • Vengeful • Excessive • Controlling Rebellious • Insensitive • Domineering Self-Centered
Listen and observe others before reacting, and include others when making decisions
Eights value honesty and straightforward communication (don’t beat around the bush)
• Stand up for yourself and for me.
• Be confident, strong, and direct.
• Notice that I am tender and have a vulnerable side behind my strong exterior.
• Acknowledge the contributions that I make a but don’t flatter me.
• I often speak in a direct and assertive way. Don’t automatically assume it is a personal attack against you.
Take the lead on big initiatives that no one else wants to do. When under stress, focus on your team and what they need.
• You shine where there’s high risk, high impact
• Remember to delegate and trust
• Watch out and don’t boss others around
Winston Churchill, John Wayne, and Donald Trump
Thoughtful | Reassuring | Receptive
Your presence matters
Having inner stability and peace of mind
Complacent
Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection with others
Remaining in an unrealistic and idealistic world in order to keep the peace, remain easy-going
Natural mediators, sees & values others’ perspectives, able to prioritize, unselfish, flexible, inclusive
Stubborn, unaware of anger, feels unimportant, self-neglecting, stands up for others but not self
Trouble making decisions, too dependent, numbing behavior, struggles to maintain illusion of harmony
Pleasant • Peaceful • Generous • Patient Accepting • Diplomatic • Open-Minded Empathetic
Spaced-Out • Forgetful • Stubborn • Obsessive Resigned • Passive-Aggressive • Judgmental Unassertive
Your voice matters, and once you find it, your relationships will know no bounds
Nines need affirmation when they are honest, so celebrate the moments they speak up for themselves
• Be patient with me and don’t rush me.
• Tell me that my presence matters.
• Listen to me until I am finished talking.
• I enjoy discussions but dislike confrontations
• I tend to focus on others so take the time to really focus in on me.
When under stress, don’t feel like you have to tackle the problems head-on. Instead, focus on the situation as a potential growth opportunity.
• You shine in predictable with low tension places
• Remember to prioritize tasks
• Watch out and don’t hold back opinions
Abraham Lincoln, Mister Rogers, and Princess Grace